Gracie Kruger

Staying Strong During Trying Times

Dr. Shaurice Mullins  |  Shaurice Mullins International  |  KNOW Charlotte

The buzzword resiliencehas made it frequently to the headlines ever since the COVID19 pandemic. From applauding healthcare workers pulling double shifts to businesses deriving a hybrid work model, we have all learned to be resilient in one way or another, during those turbulent times. But if I ask you at this moment to define resilience in simple words, what would you say? I would like to quote Dr. Jessica, a psychologist, and global clinical DEI manager at Modern Health here; People need to understand that being resilient means you are experiencing something at ahighstress level, and we are not meant to function at such a level for an extended period of time.

An important conclusion from this apt explanation is that resilience is not necessarily hardalthough it might be synonymous with it (at Synonyms.com). Resilience can be about rest, too. About vulnerability and sensitivity in other instances, such that it gets easier to navigate stressful situations. Heres how you can become resilient to cruise through negative situations in your life, and ultimately get your share of happiness.

 

Do a checkin on yourself before anyone else

Were always told the human etiquette is to inquire how are youto anyone whos an associate. But when was the last time that you asked the same question to yourself?

A rule of thumb is to build mental strength first before you can build resilience. Burnout can creep in at any time and age. Its easy to operate on autopilot until youre on the verge of break down. Just like a car with an oil leak. You may not notice the oil leaking until you park the car for a while and then move it to see the puddle underneath. For that purpose, do a fiveminute checkin every day. Ask yourself important questions like, How do I feel?” “What do I need today orHow do I want today to go?You can answer these questions in silence or write them in a diary. Processing and digesting negative thoughts help you carry out a selfcare activity, such as going for a run or ordering a takeout.

Set boundaries and prioritize your needs

Boundaries and restrictions are not necessarily about people only. Were told to shrink our circle to support ourselves and those who actually need itbut thats not resilience.

On your journey towards mental strength and happiness, learn to prioritize your need. For example, if you have outing plans with friends but you feel like staying in and taking a rest, you shouldnt feel bad about rescheduling.

According to Dr. Jackson, you must not feel intimidated or uncomfortable sharing your feelings. Importantly, you should also not feel guilty when youre saying noto certain plans or situations because by doing so, youre actually not wasting your finite energyon things that can be, or potentially be, bad for your mental health.

Perform a technology audit

Guess what kills our happy thoughts as easily as the birthday cakes knife? Social media. Brimming, or in fact boiling with unrealistic standards of nearly all abstractsfrom happiness to beauty to luxury, studies link social media with depression and anxiety in teenagers and young adult. The undeniable connection is a major factor in undermining our wellbeing and emotional resilience.

I believe quitting social media is easier said than done. The withdrawal, however, canbe gradualand like a process of detoxification.

This calls for a technology audit. Limit social time to two hours a day, and exclude any page, community, group, or even online friend from your daily consumption that doesnt add some level of joy to your day. If anything makes you feel bad, insecure, or simply uncomfortable; mute it.

Foster “micro-moments” of happiness

Ever wondered why our heart races so easily at the slightest hint of danger’? Thats because our brains are hardwired to respond to stressful situations almost instantly; the adrenaline rush as it is called. Were not as tuned to release happy hormones as rapidlyit takes some amount of substantial trigger to get the dopamine rush.

Since were wired to give weight to negative emotions over positive ones, the antidote to this bad habit is to seek micromomentsof positivity. In essence, a meaningful connection to a certain friend or family, or an uplifting activity or hobby should be used to act as a buffer between us and the stress that we shall inevitably encounter in life. Once you have found these moments, think about how you incorporate them into your daily routine.

Be proactive, hopeful, and happy

Resilience and happiness are intertwined with each other. One can build resilience by working on their coping mechanisms and skills. Once you master the art of coping with stuff your way, youll see how youll become resilient to things. Your mind is specific to you. Only you know how to play withit and how to lead it. Once youve got control of your mind, it can do you wonders.

When youre encountering challenging times in life, learn to break down these challenges or problems into smaller bits. This will make the problem seem less of a big deal. If your brain perceives the challenge as an easy target, it will process the solution with less effort, and consequently, the stress and anxiety will diminish.

Besides integrating emotional resilience activities, the key to actually achieving happiness is learning from past mistakes, remaining hopeful for the future, and being proactive in your personalmatters. When faced with a traumatic setback or loss, believe that your situation can improve and plan to work it out.

Lynne Kimmich
More About Shaurice

Dr. Shaurice Mullins is a serial entrepreneur who went from welfare to millionaire. She resides in Charlotte North Carolina and is the mother of five children and four grandchildren, but she is also the CEO of three successful businesses, a best-selling author, a transformational life coach, a change integrator, a-board certified holistic health provider, a manifestation coach, a philanthropist, an honored listee in Marquis Who’s Who, and recipient of the Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award. For over 25 years, she has held space for others to empower them on their path. These days, she is still on her holistic path, helping others connect with their intuition and true selves to find inner peace, self-love, and happiness. She is someone who’s been through countless failures and hardships and is an open book about her experiences. When she is not coaching or giving policy advice, you’ll find her enjoying good music or reading a good book.